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What I Teach My Teenage Suns About Sex & Love

As a Mother, it’s my responsibility to instill a sense of understanding and meaning for my children about the realities concerning love and relationships. Although this is my vocation, sharing higher consciousness as it relates to them isn’t easy, because they are wired to question my authority. However, as it pertains to love and connection, I use my experiences and wisdom to point them towards gaining an understanding of how their feelings, emotions, thoughts and bodies work. I try to teach with as much humor and ridiculousness to make what I share easier to digest.

Humor is one of the best ways to teach. It’s my favorite tool.

Being a Mother, I am fundamentally inclined at steering my children’s perceptions in ways that will promote peace, love and harmony in their lives. No, I have no control over what they choose, but I know that I’ve taken thoughtful action into leading them to a place where they have an understanding of their power and how to use it, for good.

The way I do this is; 

-I share the experiences I’ve had in the past with complete honesty, so that they can glean from the mistakes and triumphs -I’ve had and use the information for their own good. 

-I teach them about how women need to feel safe and cared for in order to share their depths with their lover, and that is the holy grail of life.

I tell them that most women’s hearts are touched by intimate exchanges and that it’s imperative to only “go there” if their intentions are to care, protect and provide for the girl who’s made their way into their dreams and hearts. 

I share stories of boys/men who have taken advantage of a girl’s naiveté, weakness, and innocence, and what that can result in if they do not heed my advice (bad karma, jail time, a ruined reputation, broken hearts, etc).

I lead with love, humor and honesty, and caution strongly. 

Hormones, being what they are, can blur the lines of our good intentions and speed up a process that is best served up slow and steady. Teens aren’t known for being slow and steady, but I plant the seeds regardless. 

The advice I give them is the same advice I give grown men, because everyone needs a good mama in their lives who will serve it up straight. Since I’m an awakened woman, I’m a good resource for people who grew up in environments where the feminine wasn’t fully honored for her breadth of wild knowing. 

The Wild Woman is an endangered species.

Several months ago, I had an acquaintance who called me from jail because he was arrested, for the second time, for taking advantage of a young woman. Alcohol was involved. Although I wanted to lend him a sympathetic ear, I found it really hard because he acted as though he had no idea why he was in jail. He was in denial. I asked all the questions, listened, and then told him what I thought. But because of his denial, there is no way for me to penetrate into his consciousness, instead, I warn my suns about this type of thought pattern and behavior. 

Since then, countless of women have come forward to share the experiences they had with this young man, and I took the opportunity to use his wrongdoings as teaching opportunities as a mother for my children. 

In a world filled with mixed messages concerting sex, love and relationships, I feel strongly that my advice and wisdom will be foundational for my clients and children, in order to create new levels of understanding. I want to support leaders who will change the narrative for all the disenfranchised people, sick with broken hearts and wounded dreams. 

When one person heals from their false perceptions, they become a beacon of light for others - life becomes less “selfish”.

When I talk to my suns about “consent” I tell them that they need to know their love interest well enough that there is no doubt in their mind that what their actions are leading to is mutually desired intimacy. The fact that consent has become a topic of conversation among people implies that at times there is not consent and how truly sad is that?

Who would want to have an intimate exchange with someone who does not offer mutual interest and consent? How monstrous is that type of behavior? It’s all too common. And that is extremely sad and unfortunate. Where are these peoples mother? In the case of the young man I’ve been mentioning, his mother is unfortunately on drugs. And his father has only come around a few times in his life. 

So there you have it. It makes sense. Compassion.

This young man wants to be loved, and doesn’t know how to get that love, so he just gets drunk and takes it. Sexual energy can be very persuasive in the moment, and when you add alcohol to the mix? You might be in for some fun, or some big trouble. Use responsibly. 

The problem with alcohol is that young people can make poor decisions in the moment, and later regret the decision they made. Not always, but in the case of this young man, this was the case. The young girls who take the “drink” lose their ability to intuit properly and do not have the capability or capacity of thoughtful action to see what’s coming next. Alcohol is a form of poison. I don’t mean to burst anyone’s bubble. It’s true. And it’s legal, but Psychedelic mushrooms are not. Alcohol can make a young person become unconscious (because they do not know their intoxication limits), but when they sober up and take stock of what happened, there can be feelings of rage, shame, and guilt present and the what happens next is anyone’s guess. In this case, the police got involved, angry parents are threatening attack, and this young bright man's life is now a nightmare. Tragic.

Feeling like you’ve been taken advantage of is a horrible feeling, and can cause tremendous suffering, especially in a young person. And that suffering can last a lifetime if not properly treated. A life filled with promise can become dust in the matter of one poor decision. We must all seek to amend the behaviors and choices that steal the promise of a hopeful future. 

Sex is a very powerful thing. It must be used intentionally and cautiously. Alcohol can be very dangerous.

The future of our world is in our hands. 

Because I share these stories with my suns, I am equipping them with details about what they can do to prevent this type of behavior in themselves and in their peers, while also sharing important factors in choosing a love interest to pursue. I give them all the tips, so that they can honor their feelings and their person at the same time. 

I am helping to mold leaders for love. 

I cannot wait to watch their relationships blossom into partnerships that cause positive changes in the world. This will be my legacy for my family and for my community. 

The future is created by the seeds we plant today, so make them nutritive ones!

If you need help finding clarity around what kind of seeds you need and want to plant, I can help, because I truly care about you and the world we’re creating for my children to grow up in. 

Namasté Real,

Marian xo

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