Dear friends, I sincerely hope that my words a-muse-you.
Thank you for your time and attention.
My family spent the day at our cabin on Fathers Day.
The weather was perfect for our picnic. Our friends joined us and I marveled at our collective offspring.
Our kids range from 6-20 years old. I felt so grateful for the journey I’ve been on as a Mother, because I know I’m doing things way different that how I had it myself.
That’s evolution. I have Ayahuasca to thank.
I woke up this morning thinking about how different the world would be if we were all raised by loving parents who; communicated with integrity and respect, bestowed warmth and tenderness consistently, and exhibited a level of emotional intelligence when interacting during challenging moments.
Unfortunately many of these qualities are missing in daily life because we were not taught. Not by our parents and not by our teachers. We learn about relationships by being in them and by observing them, if they matter to us.
Before my separation, and subsequent divorce, I had not been schooled in the language of love. I didn’t know how to make requests for the things my heart wanted and needed, because it required being vulnerable and the truth was I was scared to do that. I didn’t feel safe. I didn’t know how to deal with the rejection that came from a request that got turned down. Not only that, I was taught that when you ask for what you need, the person you’re asking will become mad, upset, defensive, because they may believe that the request implies that they are inadequate, which was never the case.
So what I did was bury my feelings.
That is until my feelings and emotions erupted over a circumstance that would seem insignificant to most people.
The term “runaway wife” applied to me.
The problem with not being able to process our emotions in a healthy way, is that they will come out by hell or high water if we don’t do the work to upgrade our emotional intelligence quotient.
The not-so-funny thing is life usually serves up some heavy shit in order for us to get to the point where we’re ready to face the music, so to speak, or else we'll suffer unnecessarily and perhaps longer than needed. Suffering has a purpose until it doesn’t - and that is our life’s work. To end suffering. To become self-aware.
Becoming self-aware is a lifelong practice that most people don’t have the stomach for because it requires deep introspection and the uncovering of painful feelings. But what they may not know, is that when you are on the path, consciously, life becomes a glorious dance, and those painful past feelings have a place to go, are digested and discarded, just like yesterdays meal. When we learn how to process the past, in useful ways, our future becomes illuminated. This is Shamanic work - weaving it all into a beautiful tapestry of life experience, with peace and love in our hearts.
People, like me, just lacked the tools to navigate an intimate relationship well, and if we’re really honest with ourselves, that’s what we crave. Intimate connections that feel safe and nutritive.
Having a toolbox for love is necessary in life, if we’d like it to feel fulfilling.
Our toolbox needs to include:
Having access to people who are living in alignment with their hearts, so that we can take head of their wisdom.
Practices that strengthen our confidence when life knocks us down, because it will.
The ability to let things go and take nothing personally, which is easier said than done.
Have a small group of friends/mentors/elders to use a sounding-board, so that we can lean on them when we are unsure of how to navigate our next move.
Communication practices that cultivate closeness, instead of creating a divide. (Words can be very dangerous)
The willingness to grow and change, for the sake of ourselves, and also for the world. Because when a heart heals, the Universe expands.
During my separation I was forced to create a tool-box of love, because the pain I felt could’t be alleviated without my active effort in wanting to change the parts of myself that needed my attention.
Because I’m a Psychedelic woman, I was keenly aware of the driving force behind my desire to learn and grow beyond what I knew. And that force is called Evolution.
Evolution was asking me to find love at the center of my being, despite the personal struggles and challenges I was facing. Thinking provided me with no help, cause thoughts are empty of substance when concerning matters of the heart. And sweeping my feelings under the rug was no longer an option.
I had to do something radical to find peace.
What I found in my search for understanding was my life’s calling.
I enrolled in workshops, classes, seminars with teachers whom I trusted and looked up to in order for me to change and grow, so that I could become the woman I am today. This was all after I spent years in an Ayahuasca Shamanic apprenticeship. My study and experience with plant medicine helped me prepare for the breakthrough I was inevitably going to have.
Since 2016 I have spent $45k+ getting my PHD in Psychedelic & Relationship work.
I traversed the dark night of the soul so many times, I am now proficient in helping people go through it themselves. My psychedelic practice attracts many different types of people going through different challenges, but the common threads among them all is the desire to know themselves well (which happens through relating), and to increase their capacity to love and be loved.
No one need be alone during dark times. Personal work is personal, but supplying someone who is going through it withe much TLC will make the process go more smoothly, so that clarity can surface from within in good time.
For the last several years I have dreamed of opening a school (in-person) so that I could teach what I learned, and be of service to my community of all ages, for the sake of love and connection. HOW RADICAL!
I opened Culture Corner with a friend, which was a community center, and realized that I bit off more than I could chew when I had to wear all the hats in running and funding the organization.
I didn’t have the capacity at the time.
I was single mothering, and anyone who knows what that’s like, can attest to the hardships.
Despite having the drive, I lacked the energy to do it all.
It’s of no consequence. Because now I have an offer of a lifetime:
Psychedelic Love School - A Time and Place to Learn & Connect Deeply
I wish I had a Psychedelic Love School when I needed it, because my intention is to combine all the teachings I've received over the years and deliver them in the sexiest, wildest, most playful ways possible, while maintaining a deep commitment to higher learning.
My goal as teacher is to help my community of participants to:
-Fall in love with life in a deeply passionate way
-Form strong bonds with peers while in session and beyond
-Learn how to use the Universe as an ally, witness, and validator
-Help attendees navigate their current and future relationships in ways that promote peace, intimacy and understanding
-Heal, Grow, and Evolve past limiting beliefs and past experiences, so that Love can abound in the present
The most profound journeys in life start with the realization that we are not fully living.
To be alive, but not feel as though we are living fully, brings about one thousand tiny deaths. These tiny deaths are preventable, but require a commitment to the self. People talk a whole lot about a lack of commitment from others, but aren’t so quick to make a commitment themselves.
Much will be taught about commitment in session.
The toolbox of Love I will be providing has a lifetime warranty. Some of the things you will learn will change you forever, because you will have a fundamental understanding of the WHY? Knowing the “why” will disrupt negative patterns and open you up to a healthier and more expansive version of yourself.
Housekeeping:
-Find a copy and pasted snapshot below, so that you can chew on what to expect.
-Enrollment goes up August 1st to $999
-Ideal participants are people who are seeking higher consciousness in regards to love, relating and understanding in order to massively improve life satisfaction
-Great for singles seeking to attract loving partners, married persons wanting a fresh lens, divorcé’s, people transitioning between stages, persons grieving a loss of love, dealing with unrequited love
-Discounts available for people who refer others to participate in class
-End of session retreat is on the menu! (Psychedelic Journey is optional:)
-Spread the word:)
You can check out the Ankhology Curriculum on the website menu.
Namasté Sexy,
Marian xo
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