I'm sitting in my front room writing at my desk surrounded by all my musical instruments. It's 5:33am and I woke up at 3:21am, which in ancient cultures is known as 'the divine hour'. It's when the world around us is quietest, and when the connection to the divine is the strongest; the darkest part of night, yet nearing the dawn. The subterranean voice beckons me in my sleep to rise and shine, to create.
I made some tea, sat on my back steps and then went for a run. My house is quiet. Which feels rare.
My writing teacher instructs me to create first, and to consume later. He says that the most important thing to do in the morning is to turn my thought-dreams into words. His advice changed the way I do me. His advice is leading me to manifest my dreams of becoming a best-selling freedom writer and published author.
I know I have that in me. And I've been working on it since January.
If I were to consume first (media, food, people) than I'd not have the time to write with the connection that's available to me while the world is quiet and my connection to source is strong.
I've paid him a good amount of money to help me with my writing goals. He breaks things down for me in bite-sized pieces and I'm falling in love with the process, which I never thought was possible. Because of him, my mindset around writing words for work and pleasure has been transformed.
That's what a good teacher does.
If you've been reading my words for some time, then you know that I like to illuminate. I really truly love to help people. It's what I'm made of. It's what I'm good at.
The other day I sat with an old friend/client who came to a Course In Miracles Class I was teaching at the local library several years ago and he shared that he's struggling to feel desired by his spouse and what could he do? His old thinking patterns are wreaking havoc on his new marriage.
First I asked him "how often are you having sex? How often do you want to have it? How often do you think she wants it?"
He wants sex everyday. She can handle 2-3 times a week.
He divulged that they are constant companions.
"We do everything together!" he exclaimed.
He told me that they have sex at evening/night and it lasts anywhere from 1.5-3 hours.
He told me that most nights she says she's tired. And that makes him feel unwanted... like he's always chasing her, and it would be nice if she chased him once in a while.
This is a major trigger for him, one that he is trying to move through without the old stories plaguing him.
I smiled, laughed a little bit while he shuffled in his seat anticipating to hear what I would say.
He makes me smile. He is a great man, husband and father.
This man is a lover. And I love him for that. He is deeply connected to himself. He is vulnerable with me.
Which is essential for healing and trust.
When he came to me he was heartbroken from the divorce with his wife of 30 years.
He was raw.
He repeated the stories to me many times, a sign that he was still processing his pain and trying to come to terms with what was, seeking a level of understanding that would bring him peace. I validated him over and over and over again, so that he could regain his confidence in himself, because the relationship rupture was caused by a painful betrayal. He saw the signs, but couldn't get co-operation from his wife to steer the ship to healthy waters. Her loss.
He got remarried less than two years later to a lovely and caring woman.
They are both happy with the relationship.
Here's what I told him about his predicament.
There needs to be tension in a relationship. Without tension there is no passion or sensuality. I'm not talking about the type of tension that's caused by a fight, although many fights could be thrwarted if there is enough love making going around.
When people spend too much time together, living together, eating together, playing together, family time together, vacationing together, it dampens the tension needed that causes desire.
We need desire to keep the flames of love and passion going strong.
When you see too much of your person, sometimes it can be too much of a good thing.
I told him that, and left that there with him.
Next, his idea of lovemaking requires a lot of time, and after a long day at work his woman is spent.
She doesn't have the energy for that kind of romp every night.
To him, the romp is what's needed to release the tension from the day! What's he to do?
I told him about the divine hour. I told him that it's a great time to make love because it's creating first!
Perhaps he wakes up errect, a sure signal from the divine that it's time, and he can gently massage or pleasure his woman in half-sleep, which will continue to arouse him.
Perhaps this is the time when his pleasure is prioritized, because he disclosed that his women enjoys 2-3 orgasms when they make love at night and sometimes he doesn't orgasm at all.
He let what I was saying sink into him. He told me that I was arousing him just speaking about the possibilities, which I took as a compliment;)
I told him that he could ask his wife if she would be willing to make love before dawn sometimes, for a sensual quicky, for when he was wanting to connect with her in that way, understanding that their usual love romps take a toll on her in regards to the timing and energy expenditure.
She will value his insight into her experience, and it will make her love him more, instead of him coming at her with frustration or taking the issue to a traditional psycho therapist, which can feel yikes!
The perk of this strategy is that it's possible to fall asleep again after, in each-other's arms snuggled up all tight until it's time to get the day going. Sex before dawn is a no pressure, all pleasure experience because you have not accumulated any energy's from the day yet, and creating love first thing in the morning is nothing short of miraculous. It's raw, real, low-key and I really like it, and I think he and his wife will too.
He told me that I provided him with concepts that he had never thought of before and was super excited to test them out, because lately he was feeling down about how to express his needs to his woman without making her feel bad or putting unnecessary pressure on her.
A lot of men who can't find the words or means to express themselves when they feel the kind of pressure that needs releasing, sexy-style, often turn to easy women, prostitutes or porn, which causes a lot of pain and destruction for the spiritual connection and bond between two people who are building a life together.
Helping people is my intention. Making my living as a see-er and medicine woman comes by no accident. My words drip with experience and are used for the sake of healing, illumination, and transcendence.
It is my intention to help as many people as possible come to their own awareness surrounding the things that matter to them most.
What do you desire to call forth?
Intentions turn into reality when we decide to do the work. Often we need a teacher, guide or counselor to help us navigate the path forward enlisting clarity and causing tenacity of purpose.
Intention + Action = Manifestation
The question is in what areas of your life would you like to bloom?
Some remain a seed in the soil their whole lives, waiting to be watered, trying to find the light.
Some may yearn to sprout, but can't break ground.
Some bloom once in a lifetime, and other's only during the spring season.
While few bloom everyday.
If you would like to cultivate the conditions in which your growth and maturity is assured, please respond to this email with 'In Bloom' in the subject line to get connected.
Together, anything is possible.
Namasté
(P.S. if you'd like to connect on social media, I'm active there and it's a great place to connect in fun ways @psychedelic.love.talk and please tune into the show! The playlist is fire for sexy-play-time;)
99.9fm kuaafm.org Sunday's @10pm (MST) - Stay Tuned.
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