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Chronic Isolation

Most of us live in little boxes. We have computers and phones that connect us to people and places, and that's alright, but it isn't the same as really being with people, not by a long-shot. What happens when a person becomes consumed by their devices?

Loneliness, depression, and desperation. They become "triggered" easily by people. That's how they justify the isolation.

It seems that these emotional states have become contagious... like a plague. Why?


I think because it's easier than ever to isolate. People don't even need to go to the grocery store anymore, everything can be delivered, no words or sentiments need to be exchanged. And I know its costing us a lot. When I smile at someone at the store, or on a walk, I rarely get eye contact. Sometimes people will even pretend to ignore my friendly smile or soft hello. I can be scary, but it takes a lot!

Smiles are free, the last I checked, but some folks aren't interested in the cost of it, nevertheless.


The devices are making people dizzy by producing contradictory thoughts and feelings. The brain chemicals sending muted shockwaves into the physical body. The addiction to the spells allows people to feel something, at least for a while.


Real authentic connection may not have the same lustre it once did before the digital age, and people are suffering because of it. No one likes to talk about suffering, but in my practice, my people get to unload what ails them. It's a part of the process. What I've found is that when people are too heavily invested in the online world, they forget how to connect authentically. And then they feel as though they are broken and/or undesirable. Which is never the case. Although someone who has isolated for too long, rarely is able to feel authentically themselves, because external stimuli has taken over their beingness.


Last night I asked my family to get off their devices so that we could just "hang out" together, and no one would commit to it at the same time. Motherhood is hard enough. But when you can't get the attention of the people you love for more than 4minutes at a time, a crisis might be what comes next... or a cooking strike. That'll get everyone's attention.


I walked out of a relationship once when I couldn't get the attention I needed. It was extreme, but desperate times call for extreme measures. Attention is THE MOST VALUABLE commodity these daze. There are millions of messages being thrown around all the time, and so few of them steer us into a grounded and grateful state of beingness.


I welcomed a new person into my practice recently and everytime we get together (not on zoom, in person), they have a really hard time letting me go. Despite the fact that they live with a whole group of people in their home, they feel there is no one in this world that they can relate to... for now. The problem is they don't like people (I'm so glad they like me enough). People have let them down, and they want to give up on people, except for the fact that they can't. They know isolation and loneliness all too well to know that they can't go on avoiding human connection and have any chance at happiness.

We talk about everything; their relationship to pornography, their addiction to YouTube, their relationship to their spouse, children, job, health (or lack of it), and I listen. I repeat back what I hear through a shamanic lens. I provide them with respite from their self-thoathing. I provide care and insight on how they move through their negative emotions, intelligently (by providing teachings, observations, tools, and alternative perspectives), which breeds confidence and trust in the process. I love what I do. It's impactful and illuminating for all involved.


Back in the day, Shamans were a part of a thriving community. People came to seek clarity, in spiritual terms, to deal with the woes in life and to find solace through insightful introspection. If you've ever been in the company of a loving spiritual guide, who wants what's best for your soul, you know how valuable the time spent together is and will seek to develop a relationship with them. For those of you who haven't had this in your life, I welcome you to my Psychedelic practice.


Life is relational. We've been fooled to believe that living an independant life is where it's at, but it's only good for a short time. Relating deeply, on a spiritual level often, allows us to relinquish what ails us through divine connectivity. It requires vulnerability. Few are so brave to show their soft side, and it's painfully obvious when it's been too long between releases. The business world has created a landscape of transactional experiences that have limited our ability to be human, and humane. It's safe to talk about numbers, figures, goals, and spreadsheets, but speak about pain and suffering and the room goes mute.


Before the advent of agriculture, humans lived an integrated and communal life. Sharing and caring was the foundation of a thriving community and one person's woes affected everyone's. Communities banded together to problem solve in order to make sure everyone was thriving. Talking circles existed to share stories and anecdotes that everyone could relate to and learn from. Religion may be a place where this sharing/caring concept lives in the modern day, but we all know the darkness that's befalen the faithful. Politicians and elites govern the way we live, through corrupt agendas and false leadership and we are hurting because of it. I know that change occurs within each individual, but humans are so lost they don't know who to turn to discuss matters that affect the foundation of their existance. Most people feel it is hopeless, that they will be stuck on the hamster wheel of life, trying to earn enough dollars to make life enjoyable enough. A trip to the therapist's office is a temporary and often one-sided repreive from the confusion. The benefits don't seem to last.


I have found that life is most enjoyable when people are relating on a soul-level. When we are no longer concerned with just the self, but with all, and are striving to make a difference. When that is our intention, life seems to take on a whole new meaning. And what kind of life are we living if there is no meaning? Working a meaningless job is soul-crushing. I visited with a client yesterday who "graduated" from my services and now reflects on the soul-sucking work she was in before we reached her goal (which was to gather the strength and confidence to enter into a new and holistic career, which she did do!). She lamented "day in and day out, 50 hours a week I worked in a job I loathed...never thinking I had another option". Oy!


Part of coming out of the dark recesses of isolation is the ability to find meaning, even in the littlest of things. When someone is lost in the dark, synchronicities seem to cease altogether. Synchronicities are the stepping stones of greater awareness of our spirit. When they are missing, a person is disconnected from their higher self. One of the first things people report when begining to work with me is that they are noticing again. There is light. A block has been dissolved. They have faith again, in the process of life. I say this only to have you recognize the importance of relating at a soul-level. It dissolves negativity and invites sacred union. Care is the bridge.


Sometimes it feels weird exhangeing money for care, but this is the world we live in, and like my teacher used to tell me, "a Shaman cannot live on love and water alone". If money can't buy love, at least it can buy good care. Love is created when two or more people have the same intention - to learn and blossom in the company of good, natured souls.


Sending you warm hugs,

Marian

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