The hardest times in our lives is when we go through break-ups. Heartbreak is a human condition and there is little to temper the pain that comes when we have to let someone go. Regardless of the reason, the result in detaching from the person we shared love with can feel excruciating.
Is it better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all?
In the midst of a break-up, it may seem like the answer would be no, but we would be fooling ourselves.
In my own experience, I have found that breaking up, healing, and moving on is a long process in regards to time and energy.
When I went through my last break-up I didn't want to spend more time and energy than necessary processing the pain and anguish that came when it was time to say goodby, so I employed my will power to create.
Creating is cathartic. For me, it's where I turn when I can't hold what I'm carrying. Somehow, creating alleviates the pain I feel in my heart and puts it into rightful and restorative action. There seems to be no external remedy for this kind of pain. For me at least.
Because I know myself and I can look back on my herstory with mindfulness, I can see my pattern. Actually, I see many patterns, but the one I was focused on not repeating was agonizing over my loss for more time than was necessary. So I created a plan to temper the process and to employ my psyche using Jedi-Mind-Training to restore the parts of myself that I lost or gave away to my relationship.
That's why break-ups hurt. We give our love away and stop receiving our lovers love, and when the relationship is over we feel empty.
Because of this painful process and because I did not want to repeat my old ways of dealing with heavy emotions I created a roadmap of consciousness to help me move through my difficult time.
I sat down one day at my computer and began writing a guidance manual for myself to help me heal and let go, so that I could move on in good time. I used a Zen Tarot deck to lay out the steps I believed would help me restore my self love. When I spoke to friends about what I was doing they resounded with a "yes! Wow! Do it." What I've learned from the conversations I've been having with my community about breaking up, separating or divorcing is that people have a really hard time letting go, so much so that when they enter into a new relationship, they are still dealing with the remnants of the previous one.
Everyone who's gone through a break-up needs something to help them get back to the place of wholeness. For some that's time, for others its distractions, but we need something to keep our minds focused on the goal, which is to move on.
So I created a guide. And it works. What I intend to do with it is share its bounty, so that others like me who have been trying to get over an ex, can do so in a way that leads us back to ourselves, so that we can have faith that love will find us again and we will be whole and ready for it, because all we need is love.
I'd like to help remedy and soothe the painful process of letting go by helping to restore what seems to have been lost. I do this by outlining each and every step it takes to fully, consciously process the "end" while also providing guidance, tools and mindfulness practices that would allow you to reclaim your love for your own self.
What I need right now to make the most out of my efforts are a few volunteers who would be willing to take a short survey (if you are amidst a break-up recently or still dealing with lingering pain from the past), so that I can make sure I'm covering all the elements necessary for your healing and growth.
It takes about 4 minutes and will help me serve you better.
Here is the link. Thank you for your service!
Namasté Strong,
Marian xo
Comments